Softball Is What You Do: Identity vs. Investment

One of my favorite sayings in the mental performance world is this: Your sport is what you do. It is not who you are.

The reason this statement is used is because some of the most common issues we work with in sports stem from athletes who merge the two. Meaning, athletes think their sport defines them wholly as people.

You may be reading this and think, "Well, yeah. Softball is my life. I AM softball!" While you may spend a lot of hours working on your softball skills, playing softball, and even thinking about softball, you can create an issue for yourself if you do not recognize that softball is just something you do (Farzam, 2025).

I'll prove it to you! Think for a moment: What other things do you do? These "things" can be anything not softball-related. Here are common things I hear when I ask my clients this question:

Clients: a) they attend school, b) they work, c) they hang out with friends, d) they attend events, e) they hang out with family, f) they do something artistic, g) they play other sports, and h) they explore (hike, beach, mountains).

Responses like this show me that clients are a) students, b) employees, c) friends, d) social people, e) family members, or part of a family unit.

Your responses may be similar, and this shows you that you are more than just a softball player. Let's take a look at some distinguishing elements to help you put softball in its rightful pocket of your life.

Remember that saying I mentioned earlier? "Softball is what I do; it's not who I am." Let's talk about the who you are part.

Have you ever thought about your identity in a specific area of your life? Many people haven't really visited this thought, but it can be good to ask yourself this question occasionally.

But, what is your identity? Your identity is the extent to which you define yourself by a specific role. Knowing your identity within any role in your life can help you determine if the values you hold as a person still align with how you're behaving within that role or the demands of the role (Beresin, 2026).

Thinking about and defining your identity helps you become more self-aware, which is a powerful skill. If you define your identity as a softball athlete now, this gives you a way to assess if your identity has changed later in life. Knowing your softball identity also helps you create healthy boundaries for your well-being. You are more likely to allow yourself to try different hobbies, make different or new friends, or even play different sports or positions if you build out your identity to encompass more than just softball.

In brief, your softball identity is who you are as an athlete on the field, and your identity in general, is who you are as a person.

Now let's discuss the first part of that saying, "Softball is what I do..." When you take action to put resources into softball, and you expect to generate greater value in the future, then this is called an investment.

How much you put into softball may be connected to what you think you will get out of it. This is called a "return on investment" or R.O.I. Your R.O.I. may not be something external, like scholarship money or a position on a desired team, but rather something internal, like enjoyment, connection to others, or satisfying your love of learning. The point being, softball is something you do because you value the potential R.O.I. you receive.

Hopefully, now you can see there is a difference between your identity and your sport investment. If you learn to view softball as something you do, and realize it is a part of you, then you can spend time figuring out who you are.

Take some time over the coming weeks to think through the "who I am" portion of that saying. Who are you as a person? You can be an athlete, a friend, a student, all the things, but take time to get to know yourself. It can help to think about the things you like to spend time doing or things you find yourself engaging with frequently.

And repeat after me, "Softball is what I do; it's NOT who I am!" Now who ARE you?

Dr. Megan Buning is a Certified Mental Performance Consultant (C.M.P.C.) with over a decade of experience training the mental game.

Beresin, G. (2026). Discovering who I am: The critical role of identity. The Clay Center for Young Healthy Minds. Retrieved from https://www.mghclaycenter.org/parenting-concerns/discovering-who-i-am-the-critical-role-of-identity/

Farzam, R. (2025, July 7). Sports psychology for youth athletes. Center for Healing & Personal Growth. Retrieved from https://www.latraumatherapists.com/blog/sports-psychology-for-youth-athletes