Hot Topic: Can We Change An Outcome?
How many times have you had something happen and you've wished, "If I could just go back and redo that (or not do that), things would be so much better"?
When we have thoughts like this, it's usually because the event that occurred produced a result we didn't like. Because we didn't like the outcome, we may have negative thoughts and emotions about the event and situation (including people) that were involved with the event.
Let's put this into softball terms. You find yourself in a pressure situation during a game. It's a close game, and runners are in scoring position. Whether you're pitching, hitting, or playing defense in that moment, you know your team either needs to score to win (offense) or stop the runs (defense). And you fail. You don't get the job done, or your team isn't successful. Maybe you made an error, missed a sign, or maybe you threw to the wrong bag.
After, you spend longer than you should replaying the event and wishing you could go back and change it. Every time you remember the event, you have negative emotions (e.g., regret, sadness, embarrassment, etc.).
Now I ask you, is it possible to go back and change the event? Let me make this easy. No, it is not. We can't change the past. But we can change our perception of the event, which can lead to a change in our perception of the outcome. Let's learn a little more about why you think negatively about failed events so we can learn how to change our perception.
Conditioned Responses
Did you realize that every time you have a negative emotion or thought about a certain event, you have most likely conditioned that response to all future similar events? For example, if I were up to bat in a bases-loaded situation and I struck out, I may feel embarrassed or disappointed in myself. In the future, each time I find myself in a bases load situation (or even think about one), I may get anxious and uncomfortable. I may doubt my ability to succeed in this situation. I am connecting the first failed attempt to all future attempts.
Hebb's rule (Calbet, 2018; Sejnowski & Tesauro, 1989) can help explain why you seem to attach a negative emotion to an unsuccessful event. The most straightforward explanation is that your brain has created a trigger for the event. The event involved negative emotions and caused certain parts of your brain to activate together. Now, each time a similar event happens (or you even think of it), those parts of your brain activate together (Calbet, 2019). This is why you may always feel doubt, be uncomfortable, and be anxious around an event that didn't go well for you in the past. To help, you have to decondition your triggers and train your brain to associate new triggers with the event so that you can be more productive or successful. One technique that can help is the E + R = O method.
Emotion + Response = Outcome
Remember, we can't change past events, however, we can change our perception of events. We change our perceptions by changing our response to events. It can be helpful to think of the acronym E + R = O or Emotions + Response = Outcome (Gallagher, n.d.).
When an event happens, you will have emotions about the event, and you will make a choice about how you respond to that event. Your emotions (E) + your selected response (R) shape your perception of the outcome (O). This means the way you choose to respond in combination with how you're feeling, can seemingly alter the outcome (or your perception of the outcome).
Let's take the bases-loaded example again. Same situation: I struck out in a bases-loaded situation. I feel disappointed, upset, and all the things about my failed attempt. Here's where the E + R = O technique comes in handy. I can still feel how I feel about my failed attempt, but I can choose how I respond.
Let's say I choose to respond by staying upset with myself for days (even months). I beat myself up, and think I'm not very good at hitting. I'm shaping my perception of that one event's outcome to be one that creates a lot of negative emotions for me and my anxiety. I'm also conditioning triggers in my brain to think every bases-loaded situation is stressful and will have a negative outcome.
Now, let's look at a different choice in response. I still feel the way I feel about striking out, but I choose to respond by acknowledging that me striking out does not define how good a softball player I am, I examine the situation to see where I can work harder or differently, and I look forward to being put in another bases-loaded situation so I can get another attempt to succeed. With this option, I have shaped my perception of the outcome to be more of a learning experience that I can move forward from.
To conclude, you will never be able to change an event, but if you change your response to an event, you recondition the triggers in your brain and therefore change your perception of the outcome.
References
Calbet, J. (2019, January 10). NLP anchors or NLP anchoring: How and why do they work? NeuroQuotient.
Calbet, J. (2018, March 14). Hebb's rule with an analogy: Psychology and neuroscience. NeuroQuotient. https://neuroquotient.com/en/pshychology-and-neuroscience-hebb-principle-rule/
Gallagher, H. (n.d.). Event + Response = Outcome formula (E+R=O). MMC Learning. https://mmclearning.com/personal-growth-and-development-hub/event-response-outcome/
Sejnowski, T. J., & Tesauro, G. (1989). The Hebb rule for synaptic plasticity: Algorithms and implementations. In Neural Models of Plasticity (pp. 94-103). Academic Press.
