How To Break Out Of A Softball Rut? Find Gratitude.
I want to share a story with you. It was November of my junior year in high school. My big recruiting year! The year when I would find out just how tangible a collegiate career could be. Yet, I was in the middle of the drudgery of off-season practice with no games and no fun. The days were monotonous, boring, and demotivating. I played varsity basketball for my school, and basketball was my “fun” sport. Softball was my job. I was in a rut. I was frustrated and tired of the drudge of softball practice, the stress of balancing school, sports, a social life, and the seemingly endless routines of boring things that I decided to quit softball.
You read that correctly. I spent a few days psyching myself up to tell my parents about my decision. Once I had mustered up enough courage, I confidently looked my parents in the eyes, (the same parents who had sacrificed time, money, and energy for years) and said, “I don’t want to play softball anymore.” Before they could utter a word, I shared my prepared speech: I was tired. I was bored. Softball wasn’t fun anymore. I wanted to be a typical high school student. I wanted to play more basketball.
Truthfully, I was being honest. I felt all these things. So, I ran through all my reasons expecting furniture to fly or for me to be grounded for life. Instead, my parents calmly looked at me and said, “Okay. If that’s the way you feel, quit.” And so, with my parents’ blessings, I quit softball that day.
For the first few hours, I shifted between feelings of giddiness and nervousness. What had I just done? Did I just give up a chance for a college scholarship? As the first day passed, I started to reflect on my time as a “former” pitcher as if I was grieving. The fun memories of my teammates, coaches, games, and family all came flooding in. I even found myself in tears thinking how those times would never be again.
I spent the next 24 hours submerged in these thoughts. By the end of the second day, I picked my glove up, marched into my parents’ room, and stated, “I’m not done yet. I don’t want to quit. I love softball!” From that point forward, my parents never had to ask me to practice because I did it on my own. My love for the game was reinvigorated and I was on fire for the game more than ever before. This feeling carried me through the rest of my playing career, which spanned four years of college, two of international play, and two in the professional league. So, what was this “magic” I experienced and how can you use it for yourself?
The Magic Of Gratitude
What I went through in the two days of quitting was a flood of what is called gratitude. Gratitude is when you feel thankful and happy for the good things that have happened to you (usually in the past) that put you in a state of appreciation (APA, 2018; Sansone & Sansone, 2010). Gratitude can be a powerful tool to help you do hard things, overcome obstacles, manage stress and anxiety, and even build stronger relationships (Jans-Beken et al., 2020).
For me, I was so stuck in the cycle of not liking softball practices that I never really took the time to remember all the good softball brought to my life. My two-day retirement forced me to reflect on my experiences within softball. All the emotions flooded me to the point that I was overwhelmed. The good news for you is that you can be intentional and practice gratitude consistently and make gratitude a strength trait for you. Consistent practice will help you stay in a positive state of mind, giving you a more productive approach to handling difficulty (Emmons & Crumpler, 2000) instead of getting to the quitting point (like me).
How To Practice Gratitude
Although gratitude is a natural character tendency (i.e., dispositional trait), you can strengthen this trait just like you would with a physical or mental skill: through consistent and intentional practice (McCullough et al, 2002). Practice can be fun and a way to work on stretching your comfort zone. Here are three common approaches to practicing gratitude:
Gratitude Journaling. Journaling is a powerful technique used across a variety of fields to help you become more adaptive. Just to name a few benefits, journaling can improve self-awareness, increase motivation, work toward goals, process thoughts, and manage anxiety (Williamson, 2024). For gratitude journaling, start by listing two to three things you are grateful for each day. Beside each selection, jot down why you are grateful for that selection and any specific memories you have connected to that selection. Let yourself experience the emotions that come to you during this time.
Grateful Letter Writing. This is one of my favorite exercises to use with my clients. There are two approaches I typically use: a letter to softball or a letter to a person affiliated with your softball journey. If you select a letter to softball, physically handwrite a love letter to your sport or position. Write it as if you are telling the sport all the things you love and appreciate about it. Read your letter out loud (even to yourself) and notice how you feel. Keep that letter with you in a place where you will occasionally review it. If you choose to write a letter to a person, write to that person the things you are grateful for about him/her. What have they done for you and softball that you appreciate? Be specific. If you want to take this practice a step further, give the person your letter.
Gratitude Walks & Observations. On your next walk or outing, be intentional about letting yourself be curious, appreciate your surroundings and observations, and/or experience awe. Often, we get caught up in the rush of life or our next task that we forget to look around us and notice the beauty of nature, people, animals, and structures. Let yourself get caught up in wondering how amazing the sunset looks or how fascinating it is to watch a bird build its nest. Take just a few moments to be thankful for being able to witness such things.
Dr. Megan Buning is a Certified Mental Performance Consultant (C.M.P.C.) with over a decade of experience training the mental game.
References
American Psychological Association. (2018, April 19). Gratitude. Retrieved from https://dictionary.apa.org/gratitude
Beattie, M. (2007). Gratitude: Inspirations by Melody Beattie. Hazeldon Foundation.
Emmons, R. A., & Crumpler, C. A. (2000). Gratitude as a human strength: Appraising the evidence. Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, 19(1), 56-69.
Jans-Beken, L., Jacobs, N., Janssens, M., Peeters, S., Reijnders, J., Lechner, L., & Lataster, J. (2020). Gratitude and health: An updated review. The Journal of Positive Psychology, 15(6), 743-782
McCullough, M. E., Emmons, R. A., & Tsang, J. A. (2002). The grateful disposition: A conceptual and empirical topography. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 82(1), 112-127.
Sansone, R. A., & Sansone, L. A. (2010). Gratitude and well being: the benefits of appreciation. Psychiatry (edgmont), 7(11), 18.
Williamson, J. (2024). The power of journaling for mental health. Peachy Counseling. Retrieved from https://www.peacheycounselling.ca/
